I'd like to share this...
Yesterday me and my son went out for a walk. While we were walking, a tall kid riding a bicycle stopped, dismounted his bike and dropped his school bag and shouted to my son why he was staring at him. My son quickly went to face him and just said "yaro ka" (provocation of a fight). I ordered my son to hang his umbrella on the fence behind him, which he did and I hanged my umbrella too. It was raining so we had umbrellas... It will be very unfair for the other kid if my son is holding an umbrella since he can use it as an Arnis stick. The other kid kept on shouting about why my son was giving him a bad stare. My son was trying to keep his cool but was really provoking him on a fight but he kept on saying no and just wanted to scare away my son by his scary thug like tactics. The sound of my son's voice started to sound low and slow and started looking around and this is a very big sign that he is really pissed and will start to attack.
I was keeping my distance from the boys and said nothing because I believe that they have to settle their differences between themselves. Then the kid started giving me a provocative stare which really got me pissed so I said that if you have the balls to stare at me like that, I'm sure you have the balls to finish it... He said no and went barking to my son again. I was so pissed that I got close to the kids and said "my son is a lot smaller than you, he is younger than you, don't be shy... He has been waiting for ages for you to stop barking and start fighting. I'm starting to really get bored and if you really have the balls to fight, please do it before I fall asleep". The kid looked shocked with what I said, probably he thought that I'll stand between them to stop the fight.
The kid got mellow and that was the time when I came in to bark at the boys. First I asked him what was his motive. I learned that he was just trying to show off his "big balls of steel" and to scare away my son. Then I asked him what sport do you do, then he politely answered basketball sir... I grabbed my head in despair and told the kid nicely that it is like suicide... I said "don't think that because you are older, bigger and taller than other kids that you can scare them all. There are many small people who will eat you for snack. It is good that you didn't push through because I know that you won't stand a chance and will drop in seconds with several broken bones". I am very proud that my son was able to keep his cool... but probably it was because that I was there watching. If I wasn't there, I'm sure that the kid would be in very big trouble. Probably he won't get a broken arm but I'm sure that he'll get twisted and locked very hard until he shit his pants and will be treated like a floor polisher on the asphalt". Then he politely asked what my son sport was and I answered that he has three black belts on different arts. Then he asked what arts I do and my rank, my son answered "dad's lowest is 4th black on offensive arts and he has several more"... the kid started to get even more pale... Then I turned to the kid and kindly gave my advice, "being strong cannot be attained by starting fights and trying to only scare people away. Probably you have scared lots kids but there will be a time when someone will accept your invitation to a fight and you must be man enough to finish what you've started". He bowed down and asked for an apology.
Then I turned to my son, gave him a good slap on the head, then I said "I didn't expect that you will fall for this kind of cheap fight provocation. You have all the chance to just ignore the kid and just walk away but you really wanted to go into a fight that I know that your opponent will get badly hurt". Then gave him a good snap on his mid section and said again, "this is for not controlling and putting dirt on the arts"... My son faced me then gave me a very solemn bow and asked for apology. The other kid's face was turning really pale upon seeing my son (my student) asking for apology doing it in a formal martial arts way. Then I kindly told the kid that he too lack patience and that he could have just ignored my son and just passed but didn't because he wanted to test how hard his balls are and that he really looked like a jerk for starting a fight and not finishing it. He again said sorry and I really felt that it really came from his heart.
Then I suggested to the boys that instead of fighting, they should be friends. Both of them are tough kids and tough kids should look after each other especially in tight situations and not be enemies. The kid kindly asked my son if they can exchange emails and numbers which they did. I told them that from now on, you both must get along well and I think they will.
To be honest, I really like the kid even during when he was provoking a fight. He is tall, good athletic body and very handsome and he looks very similar to one of my students plus he seems to really have balls of steel (I really like tough kids). I didn't worry about my son because I've seen him in fights and have heard how he fights from his friend and from his school teachers. He fights effectively and does not throw punches nor kicks but gives CQC standing arm twist and locks, hair pulling, face grabs and chokes and a bit of pressure point fighting only (one of his favorite is grabbing his opponent by the balls... very effective technique and fights end up instantly). No eye scraping, no bone breaking, no throat clamping and other weird techniques unless he is in real danger but he can go all the way if he is fighting a terrorist or a child molester. I ordered him to never throw a punch or use Judo techniques on street fights but to stick with using pressure point fighting and stand-up grappling (controlled CQC or controlled unarmed FMA) and I know that my son will not really harm him much and will only be like an ordinary controlled sparring since we both know that the other kid is no real threat and is just a misguided wannabe hard ass and a wannabe junior thug.
I hope the kid comes for a visit at our place so that we can introduce him to martial arts. Usually the people who do martial arts are the people who tries to stay away from fights. The more higher the rank of the practitioner, the more we try to keep our cool. Most of the fights that my son had was when he was not yet a black belter but as he get more dark belts, the more he keeps his cool (but still not enough...). I too still have a lot to learn and I hope that I will never be in a real fight again...
After all my blabbing and preaching, I should have preached to myself when I was young because I too was just like the kid. I also provoked and started fights (one vs two, vs five, vs eight...), I was a misguided wannabe thug too but martial arts really made me learn to keep my cool and just walk away. Now I'm just an old fat dad who enjoys cooking, cleaning the house and washing dirty laundry :)